Are You Really Listening?

Body Language expert, Patti Wood, is quoted in Club Solutions Magazine about the importance of becoming a GENTLER listener. Do you want your relationships to improve? Check out the body language cues that will help you become a "gentler" listener at the link below.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/35165517/Club-Solutions-Listening

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://pattiwood.net/. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Reading Body Language Can Make You a Better Listener

This is a direct quote from a recent participant in my body language seminar.

"Patti, I attended you public seminar in Philadelphia. I found that out of all the benefits of attending your body language program, the biggest was becoming a better listener. Yes, learning to read others body language has actually made me a better listener. I know that sounds strange, but I would often have a lot of “mental noise” that kept me from truly listening to someone. When I would be in a sales meeting the other person (prospect) would be talking and I would be thinking about my answers or what I wanted to say next, etc. Now that I know body language I am not just listening to the words, I am watching my clients. This has helped me eliminate all my mental noise and allowed me to focus, listen and engage much more effectively."

Women Make Eye Contact More Than Men and Listen More Than Men

In a conversation women look more at the other person than men do. A woman talking to another woman makes more eye contact than a man conversing with another guy. Women spend more time looking at their romantic partner than men do. Is it because they are more inclined towards building relationships? Eye contact differences may be related to listening. Women listen more in male-female pairs than men do and listeners look more than the speaker does. The higher the status of the person the more we listen to them. When we want approval we give more eye contact. When we are seeking more nonverbal information so we can know how to respond to the person in power, we make eye contact. Research shows that when a woman is looked at during an interaction with a male or female, she likes that person more. When men were told their partner looked more than usual, they had a less favorable evaluation of them.

Ranking of Importance of Communication Skills

I was just reading a newsletter from Ravenwood that listed the ranking of the importance of communication skills in business. Of course it typically comes out as number one. Years ago when I was working on my Masters Degree at Auburn University my major Professor Larry Barker was not only one of the countries leading authorities on body language he was the president of the National Listening Association. He quoted research back in 1982 that listed good communication skills as the number one success factor in business. It is funny to me that anyone would think otherwise. If you don't listen. If you can not express your self and your needs clearly how can you possibly successful. The problem now is that there are fewer and fewer new employees that have even the most basic of communication skills. Here are the lists.
USA Today ranked communication skills #1 among a list of twelve success factors (Problem solving and an understanding of organizational structure ranked #2 and #3 respectively)
The Lamille Report of Top Executives ranked communications skills #1 among a list of ten success factors (Intelligence and integrity ranked #2 and #3 respectively)
A Society for Human Resource Management poll conducted in conjunction with the Wall Street Journal confirmed that "soft skills" now top the career success factor list for experienced employees
A study by the Center for Creative Leadership identified command of soft skills as the leading determinant of successful change management for executives
A study by Office Team concluded sixty-seven percent of HR managers would hire a candidate with strong soft skills whose technical abilities were lacking. Only nine percent would hire someone with strong technical expertise but weak interpersonal skills