Body Language at Work, First Impressions

Reading body language in your co-workers so you can tell what they really think about you.


What Your Colleagues Really Think of You
Wondering about your workplace relationships? How to tell what your colleagues really think of you
Jennifer Barrett; Additional reporting by Alex Kish

You don't have to wait for someone to get tipsy at the holiday party to find out how you're viewed at work. "We get nonverbal messages from the people around us every day—often, we're just not paying enough attention," says Sherron Bienvenu, Ph. D., a communications professor emerita at Emory University's Goizueta Business School and author of Business Communications. Following is a crash course in ferreting out whether your workplace colleagues think you're smart, likable, or neither!

Your Coworkers Like You If...

They initiate conversations
Coffee klatches have gone the way of cigarette breaks—they're all but extinct. Nowadays most people communicate by e-mail, IM, or phone. "So if your colleagues are chatting you up in the hallway, they're taking time to break routine to speak to you," says Patti Wood, an Atlanta-based body language expert. If they avert their eyes or sneak glances at their watches during a conversation, they may not be so into you.

They offer feedback
During a one-on-one, does your coworker nod thoughtfully and lean into your conversation? Do the corners of her eyes crinkle when she smiles in response to funny comments you make? "The more animated a person's face, the more emotionally invested they are in the conversation," says Tonya Reiman, a New York City-based body language expert and the author of The Power of Body Language.

They're smooth talkers
"People deviate from their normal speech patterns when they're nervous or uncomfortable," says Maryann Karinch, a body language expert based outside Denver and a coauthor of How to Spot a Liar. Someone who normally speaks at a leisurely pace might become a speed talker, while a person who usually talks quickly might pause for long moments. If they enjoy your company, you won't notice a change in their vocal stride.

WORK RELATIONSHIPS: DECODE YOUR COWORKERS
What Your Colleagues Really Think of You
Wondering about your workplace relationships? How to tell what your colleagues really think of you
Jennifer Barrett; Additional reporting by Alex Kish

Your Coworkers Respect You If...

They keep quiet
Asking for your opinion—that's a no-brainer. But letting you take control of a conversation is a less obvious way to show how much they care about what you have to say. "You can see the degree to which other people respect you by observing how often they look to you for a reaction or a cue," says psychologist Ann Demarais, Ph. D., a coauthor of First Impressions: What You Don't Know About How Others See You. "And when a problem arises, they turn to face you."

They make room for you
"When you sit down at a meeting, see if your neighbors move their stuff closer to themselves and out of your way, or push their chair back a bit to give you more room," Demarais says. "That shows respect."

They copy you
What they say about imitation and flattery is true: "Subconsciously, we try to mirror people we like and respect," Reiman says. So if you notice your coworker mimicking your movements—for example, picking up her pen or cupping her chin with her hand when you do—she probably admires you.
What Your Colleagues Really Think of You
Wondering about your workplace relationships? How to tell what your colleagues really think of you
Jennifer Barrett; Additional reporting by Alex Kish

A Coworker Has A Crush On You If...

He goes the extra mile
He spends an hour trying to fix your frozen computer, gives up his chair at a crowded conference room table, or offers to pick you up a latte during his afternoon coffee run. Maybe he's just an incredibly nice guy—but more likely, he's into you.

He drops your name
Saying things like "Hi, Jane," or "How are you doing, Jane?" may seem like common courtesy, but it's actually an intimate gesture. Consider it the verbal equivalent of a touch on the arm—a way to get more personal.

He's a stand-up guy
In the civilized world as in the wild, strong, physically imposing alpha males have the best shot at mating. So men instinctively want to make themselves seem bigger and badder around women they're interested in, Reiman says. If he suddenly stops slouching and puffs out his chest when he's around you (the old "I'm just stretching my arms" routine), take note— he may have a crush.


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Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
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Do men marry their mothers?

I think I need to find a man whoes mother had a masters degree. New research suggests that men with educated mothers say they think smart women make better wives. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/05/080505223427.htmPatti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

How Attraction Creates Changes in Our Body Langauage and Apperance.

When a person enters the company of the opposite sex, certain physiological changes take place. High muscle tone became evident in preparation for a possible sexual encounter, “bagging” around the eyes and face decreased, body sagging disappeared, the chest protruded, the stomach was automatically pulled in, potbellied slumping disappeared, the body assumed an erect posture, and the person seemed to become more youthful in appearance. Both men and women walk with a livelier, springier gait as a display of health and vitality and to convey their suitability as a partner. A man will stand taller, protrude his jaw, and expand his chest to make himself appear dominant. A woman who is interested will respond by pulling back her shoulders and bringing her breasts higher on her chest. She will also try tilting her head, touching her hair, and exposing her wrists, making herself appear submissive.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

How can you tell if he likes you? Body language and attraction

Here is a recent body language and attraction article I was quoted in:

Men’s Body Language, Decoded: What’s He Really Telling You?
When it comes to understanding men—and their interest level in you—do you need a translator? Glamour Magazine asked the top body language experts such as Patti Wood about men’s most confusing mixed signals and found that it’s not what he says but what he does that really matters.

http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/2009/06/mens-body-language-decoded#slide=9

Signs a Guy Likes You

I remember when I was a little girl my friends and I would pick wild flowers in the field behind my house. I would hold a flower and think of a guy I liked and pick off petals saying, "He loves me. He loves me not." Now you don't have to pick the petals off a flower to tell if a guy likes you. You can watch his body language.

Animals like to show off and make themselves look good when they are attracted to the opposite sex. It's called preening. You may preen by touching or gently twisting your hair around your fingers when you are with a guy you like. Guys preen as well.

When a guy likes you he may:

• Slick back his hair with his hand
• Smooth out his eyebrows.
• Straighten his shirt collar
• Smooth out the "invisible wrinkles in his pants
• Adjust his belt or pull up the waist of his pants

A man may also signal he like you by:

Turning his toes towards you when he is talking with you. (Notice especially if the toes stay pointed towards you when you are talking.) We naturally tend to point our toes towards people who interest us -- It's like a compass pointing towards true north.

The rest of his body may show he is into you as well. He could be talking to someone else, but if he notices you and he is attracted to you, he may angle his feet, his lower torso and/or his heart towards you and may not even realize it.

Notice his eyes to see if he is into you. When he looks you in the eye, his pupils (the black circles in the middle of his eyeballs) will get bigger if he likes you. If he likes what he sees he wants to see it well so the pupils dilate to take you in. Pupil dilation happens automatically when you are attracted to someone. Since a guy cannot control it, it is a great 'tell'. However it can also occur when someone is drunk or drugged or in low lighting so don't automatically whoop and say, "He loves me!" when a man's eyes dilate.

What Do His Eyes Say? Eye behavior, Attraction and Lying

True or false - The meaning of eye cues
Recently a national magazine sent me these eye cues and asked me if the meanings they had listed by them where accurate. They where looking for cues that women could use to read men. Here are my answers.

• True or False: He flashes his eyebrows = He’s attracted to you - A guy raises his eyebrows in a friendly greeting as a signal of "I come in friendship and you don’t need to be fearful of my approach." It’s very primal. If the eyes were squinted into a narrow focus it would signal that the he may be zeroing in for attack.(In other words perhaps purely a sexual conquest.) If the eyebrow flash stays a moment longer it typically signals, “I recognize you and I am approaching in friendship." Picture the little cartoon bubble above the guys head saying,"Oh I know you and I like you." If the eyebrow flash stays a moment longer and is combined with a real smile that goes all the way to the eyes it could signal attraction. He is saying, “I like what I see so I want my eyes to stay open longer to enjoy it.”

• His brows scrunch together and lift in the middle = He’s sad/disappointed
Actually that is not quite accurate. In intense sadness the eyes look down and the and the upper eyelids droop and most importantly only the inner corners of the upper eyebrows go up. So you see the eyebrows raised in the middle of the face above the nose.You can see deep furrows or set of furrows above the nose and you will also see two furrows going out and down from the outer corners of each of the eyes. The unique eye cue that only shows in deep sadness is the raised inner corners of the upper eyebrows. Paul Eckman, the father of facial expression research, shares in his book, Emotions Revealed, that a few actors like Woody Alan and Jim Carrey use that eyebrow cue quite often. I think it makes us feel sorry for them like little lost puppies. Make that Basset hound puppies.

• He closes his eyes for more than a second while speaking = He might be lying – It could mean that, but again you have to note what is happening as he shuts his eyes. We shut our eye when we don’t like what we are seeing. We may close them a bit longer than a normal blink when we hear something we don’t like or when we don’t like or believe what we are saying. (So if they guy closes his eyes in an unnaturally long blink as he says, “I will call you,” don’t wait by the phone. Know a guy may close his eyes a moment longer than normal throughout the entire conversation if he is tired or if he is with someone he doesn’t like or he doesn’t like where the conversation is going.

• His eyes shift down and to the right = He’s experiencing a deep emotion. It is not that simple though you can find some NLP books that say this is true. It is actually more complex than that. If the guy is right handed and he looks down and to the right he may be accessing emotions. Please don’t quote this as down to the right means he experiences deep emotions -- it is not accurate. And eye accessing happens so quickly most people won’t be able to catch it consciously. You could look for another eye cue to see if a man is attracted to you. When someone is looking down with both eyes it can be a signal of submission so if a guy is talking to you and he smiles and looks down with both eyes he may be silently saying, "You are so beautiful I would be dazzled and overwhelmed if I kept looking at you. I bow (with my eyes) to your loveliness." Note that looking down can also indicate that the person is feeling guilty so watch if his eyes go down as he says he is single and available!

How Can You Tell If She is in to You?

Friday, March 27, 2009

How Can You Tell She is in To You. More of Health Magazine InterviewIf you’re physically attracted to a man, you might reach out with open palms or push your hair behind your ear with your palm facing out. That’s a signal to his brain that you’re open to flirting and seduction, Wood says. -Similarly, turning the upper part of your chest toward a person—what Wood calls “the heart window”—and pointing your toes toward someone show openness to being approached, and a desire to connect whether it’s a romantic interest or a potential new friend.

Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.pattiwood.net/
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com/ .com