Gaze And Flirting

Quote in Mens Health

"Lost in her gaze "

If you find locking eyes with her a struggle, it might just be that you're feeling dominated, anxious or shy. When you do, you "look away as an attempt to regain control, disengage and limit how much information you take in," says John Dovidio, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Yale University. So the next time you two are alone, first make a conscious effort to rein in your addled emotions. If you're still struggling, take the advice of body language expert, Patti Wood, M.A., and split your attention among her mouth, eyes and cheek." This makes wondering eyes less obvious. And don't stop trying: University of Colorado researchers found that meeting her gaze makes you seem powerful.
Labels: Relationships

http://www.mens-health.com.my/2009_03_01_archive.html

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

More on Should You Make Eye-Contact With Your Dog?

Humans naturally make eye contact to show affiliation affection and agreement. I love to look at my dog Bo. By looking at your dog in safe and comfortable times you can train your dog that gently loving brief eye contact from you has a new meaning. It means, "I love you."
Dogs are unusually sensitive to human body language. When you do make eye-contact, a dog may still avert his gaze. Just remember it is not a lack of love and caring he is just showing you that he sees you as the alpha pet parent. Don’t take it personally as a signal, they don’t love you.

When we go to bed at night, I give my dog Bo a treat from the treat jar in the Master Bedroom. Bo will look at me and I look at him in this little love dance as he waits for his treat. Once in bed, Bo is invited up for another treat. If I look at him to long as I say goodnight he will avert his gaze. If I wasn't familiar with dog behavior I know I would think, “Bo doesn’t’ love me.” Now I know, that when he looks away, he is just telling me he knows I am in charge and he can be the baby dog. And he can happily curl up close at foot of the bed

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

Should You Make Eye Contact With Your Dog?

Should You Make Eye Contact With Your Dog?

Humans naturally make eye contact with other humans to show affiliation, affection and agreement. In dog-human interaction, eye contact is not always so positive. Making eye contact with your dog can cause problems. You may wish to send a positive message but your dog may not "see" it that way. In domesticated dogs, so much of their behavior depends on the dog’s breed, or their personality as well as the relationship they have with you. Most dog behaviorist will tell you that dogs don't like lingering eye contact. In fact, dogs often view direct head on lingering bold stares as a threat. When a dog meets another dog who stares the dog interprets the doggie body language as, "I challenge you to a duel.”
Starring at your dog too long, even if you are looking with love, can be interpreted by the dog as, "I starring a you dog because I am a threat."

Is just looking at your dog a lot OK? It depends on your relationship. Because I read so many photos of dogs with their humans I have noticed that their our some dogs that respond warmly to a look from their pet parent. As a pet parent myself I know that we can a loving look with our special pooches. How your feel when you look is important. When dogs are stressed they look at the pack leader for instructions on how to proceed. If you look at your dog too much when you are uncomfortable or stressed and or you are not feeling "in charge" your dog can interpret your stress cues and think your eye contact indicates a need for assistance, "What should I do next top dog."“I am looking at you because you are the leader and I am your subordinate human." and if you do it frequently your dog can get a big head thinking all your checking in means he is in charge and he can u can do whatever he wants.
Taking the lead and making correct eye contact with your dog is critical when entering and leaving through doors wit your dog. When you are going through a door you should take the lead and look toward the door, not at the dog, so it is clear you are leading the way. If you look at the dog the dog then the door your dog may think he is supposed to take the lead.

In dog a world, followers watch and make eye contact.

Remember a dog can interpret your eye contact with them as a sign of submission. “Oh, my human is looking at me." "My human needs my help, so I must be the alpha dog around here.” Some animal behaviorist think giving your dog too much eye contact can make your dog loose respect for you and the dog may “act out” like a teenager who disrespects their parents or substitute teacher. You may be familiar with dog TV shows like “It’s Me or the Dog.” In that show, dogs are often holding their families hostage to their whims. Again, if you look at a dog too much when you are stressed or to please the dog, the dog thinks he is in charge and can do whatever he wants.
From a human body language perspective, you may be able to think about it this way, powerful people don't need to make eye contact and watch. They just move forward. They know they are doing the right thing.
Dogs can interpret human eye contact as signaling, “I am looking at you because I need you to be the leader, I can’t take care of you.” If you have a dog that is not an alpha leader too much human eye contact can be stressful. Dogs don’t really want to be in charge. Dogs want their pet parent to take care of them. If a dog thinks, you need him to check for danger, lead the way and all those other Parent jobs it makes them uncomfortable. Take charge. It is the way to be nice to your dog.Stress is very contagious. Your stress effects them and make their lives more stressful and ultimately is communicated t you through their aggressiveness or whining and your life gets more stressed.

There are some kinds of human eye contact that mimics this power dance of “Who is in charge who is the follower.”. In human conversations, create an eye dance. The listener make more eye contact than the speaker and the lower status person be it a subordinate listening to his boss, a good child listening to a parent or a women listening to a man will make more eye contact, as they check in to know what to do than the speaker. In human conversation, that role can shift back and forth in a conversation. In dog-human interactions, dogs learn the role and may keep playing it out.
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Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

How Dogs View Human Eye Contact. How Can You Tell If Your Dog is Giving You Soft Eyes.

In this photo, the pet parent is giving her dog human loving attention. When you and your dog are relaxed, bonding and connecting your can look loving and briefly like the pet parent in this photo.

It is obvious by the upward tilt of the dogs head and the raised nose and his “soft eyes” that he dog has learned that his pet parents eye contact and head hold mean, "Mommy loves me. " I hope that he got this loving interaction after he has did something good, like brought her a toy, made his bed washed the dishes!

Pay attention to your dog when he is good. Your dog loves to get your attention. Just like a human child, your dog will do things to be noticed. Here is what is important. He will do something and then watch your body language to see how you respond.
If you notice him and make eye contact when he is doing something bad, chewing a slipper, getting on the sofa, then guess what he may do that very same thing. Your look, your attention is rewarding. Read the post on dog’s interpretation of eye contact to learn all the different interpretation your dog can have from your look.

“Soft eyes” The dogs eyes are partially closed sometimes squinty. You really have t look the whole dog to see if a dog has “soft eyes” Look at the dog’s posture, facial expression and eye position to make sure the dog is relaxed and non-threatening. Softness can be read in a slight squint, the rest of the facial features relaxed, the lips long and the commeasure back and the ears neutral (neutral is different for different dogs but one tell for softness is that the ears are not back pressed against the head or spread out and tense like antenna.



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

Eye Contact's Effect on Credibility and Trustworthiness.

"He didn't look me in the eye. I just couldn't trust him." What makes someone credible? According to the research, competence, trustworthiness and dynamism are the three main components that make up credibility. Competence is defined as the communicator's knowledge and expertise about the communication. Trustworthiness is a measure of the communicator's honesty and sincerity. Dynamism is a person's energy and confidence in communicating. Nonverbal communication is vital to competence, trustworthiness and dynamism because these qualities are rarely stated directly. For example, people rarely say, "I am competent" or "I am trustworthy."
THE IMPORTANCE OF EYE BEHAVIOR AND EYE CONTACT
The most noticeable nonverbal behavior that affects credibility is eye behavior and eye contact. Like the old saying, "Eyes are your window to the world," eyes can be the window to credibility. Studies on eye contact and its effect on communication and credibility find that maintaining a steady gaze while communicating is beneficial to credibility, and conversely, averting eye contact is detrimental to credibility. Eye contact studies have produced information about the effect of eye contact on the three components of credibility. In tests where these three components were isolated, eye behaviors had little effect on dynamism. The competence and trustworthiness categories, however, produced a significant link.
When volunteers were asked to rate the competence of communicators with low eye contact and with high eye contact, the competence ratings were significantly higher for the subjects who exhibited high eye contact with the audience. The same test produced the same results in measuring trustworthiness of those with low eye contact and high eye contact.

Women Make Eye Contact More Than Men and Listen More Than Men

In a conversation women look more at the other person than men do. A woman talking to another woman makes more eye contact than a man conversing with another guy. Women spend more time looking at their romantic partner than men do. Is it because they are more inclined towards building relationships? Eye contact differences may be related to listening. Women listen more in male-female pairs than men do and listeners look more than the speaker does. The higher the status of the person the more we listen to them. When we want approval we give more eye contact. When we are seeking more nonverbal information so we can know how to respond to the person in power, we make eye contact. Research shows that when a woman is looked at during an interaction with a male or female, she likes that person more. When men were told their partner looked more than usual, they had a less favorable evaluation of them.